A few ruffles, please...

I have a thing for ruffles. Maybe it is just a girl thing or a classic romance novel thing or a this makes me feel really pretty thing, but I definitely have a thing for ruffles. Given my recent down drift, I have made a firm resolve to look for the bright spots in the days. (Even on those days where the sun is completely hidden by this hideous, suffocating gray haze). I've found if I am looking the bright spots, they are easier to see.

Today's spot came in the form of ruffles. I have been working on a ruffled scarf and today it reached its finish. I put it on in a bunch of different ways. All I can say is that there were plenty of ruffles and every one was delightful.

Hi. How are you?

It has been a long time. Friends. I am sorry. I haven't had the time or will to write. Mostly time. Also will. It has, though, been too long. Hi. How are you?

Time is a vaccuum, dears. I think someone famous said that once or maybe it is just wishful thinking on my part. That someone, anyone, would impart such useful knowledge and that we, busy running about our lives, would actually listen. Stop to hear. Start to breathe. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly...

I have been in the vaccuum. My life consumed with running. Not actual running, mind you. (I never do such things). More with the feeling of running. Running from one place to another. Running from one kid to another. Running to school. Running to lunch. Running to make copies. Running to class. Running to the bathroom. Running to meetings. Running home to run out again. Running. Running. Running. I haven't been listening or breathing, mostly because I feel like I don't have time, but also because I feel like I can't slow down. I can't stop. I can't rest. I am so tired. More than that, I have been thinking about the fact I am so tired.

I came to this conclusion.

In all my running...there is little of me. All my obligations have been filled and refilled. My best has been done at every corner. But I haven't been reading enough. I haven't been writing enough. I haven't been painting or knitting or thinking enough. So, even though I am doing my best. I'm not my best.

So, this little post is an apology to myself more than anyone. Slow down, dear heart. Go home. Read. Write. Paint. Knit. Listen. Breathe in. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly...

Quotes from Kindergarten...

I have added storytelling to my daily morning routine. That is, the kids get to tell short stories about their little lives. We hear 4 to 5 stories a day, and while they are all important, most of them usually only include lines like I played with my cat, I played with my brother, I played with my bike, I played or I ate some candy.

Today though, one little boy (you'll remember him from the jelly bean incident) raised his hand and when I called on him, he said "I have a story about Brennan's dog an' how he is doeing* to live to be a hundred years old and never die. His name is Stormy an' he will live forever."

A great beginning, right? Turns out it was all the kid had...the opening, but it was still a great line and underneath it spoke of endless possibility; endless imagination.

*As before, read everything phonetically.

Saturdays when I should be cleaning...

Oh, Saturday; the best and worst day of the week. A day without the business of going to work or alarm clocks. When sleeping in, even for a little bit, presents itself like pure bliss. Even in waking up, there is the temptation just to lie there for a few more minutes or snuggle down into the warm covers and pull the book from beneath the pillow. (Assuming you have a book under the pillow, which I always do). This is the best part of the day and then enters the list.

I cannot lie in bed very long without the list creeping in. The long durge of things I must get done because it is Saturday and I don't have to go to work. Unpleasant things like hanging up clothes and cleaning the bathroom. Going to do laundry or cutting out laminated name cards for school. Homework and shopping for unexciting items like toilet paper and toothpaste.

Today, my list is exceptionally long. So long in fact that it will not all get done. I have already been up, but now I am back to lying in bed, reveling that it is Saturday and blogging about the list instead of tackling it. That, my friends, is bliss.

Quotes from Kindergarten...

Ariel: Miss B, do you know why I am the best?
Me: No, Ariel, why are you the best?
Ariel: Because my dad...he teach me evey nigh to dance...like this...(shakes her hips and shoulders vigourously).
Me: (laughing) Yes Ariel, you are the best.

*The spelling errors in the sentences above, dear reader, are to help you hear her. It also helps if you imagine a tiny Mexican girl with long brown hair and a little spanish accent.

Wisdom of a four year old...

Another moment brought to you by Olivia. She just turned five and is becoming increasingly more snarky as time goes by. Too smart for her own good or brilliant?

Olivia: Sissa, it is time for you to be married. Find a boy who likes you.
Me: Okay, I'll get right on it. It isn't that easy you know.
Olivia: You better get working, so you can get married and have your babies. You're going to want to meet your children before you pass away. Don't you think that would be a good idea?

Me: (laughing) I would definitely like to meet my children before I pass away.

Where do they come up with this stuff? I attribute the above conversation to Charlotte's Web. We are reading it for the first time and have been talking about how Charlotte dies after she lays her eggs, but before her children are born. I guess, Olivia doesn't want me to meet the same fate.

Adventures in house buying...

I am in the process of buying a house. It has been an exhausting and frustrating adventure. Hands down house hunting is the worst of activities because there exists a significant gap at what we want and what we can afford. Looking at what I can afford has been disheartening. Questions about money and regrets about choosing a career with such limited earning potential have come to the forefront, making themselves nuisances, instead of remaining in the background where they belong.

After touring some good houses in questionable neighborhoods, some questionable houses in good neighborhoods, and many questionable houses in questionable neighborhoods...I finally found a gem. The neighborhood is good. The house is good. The price is good, and I am one step closer to having my own space. Somewhere that is really mine, not a temporary stopping place. Somewhere I can fully occupy and not have to abandon in a year or two.

There is some red tape and papers to sign. I won't move in until November, but now that I know it is coming, I find myself worrying less. In fact, all I can think about is possibility. Possibility and paint colors.