A few small successes...

This has been a rollercoaster of a week. Tuesday I was ready to throw in the towel. Today I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. How my mind can change so quickly, I don't know, except maybe it just started tallying up all the small successes of the last few weeks and months and years. All those little things that make up a life and don't get noticed because they don't appear to mean anything. The little things that acutally make a life what it is. I am a believer in the small things. Somehow all the little decisions made along the way become big things, life shaping things, life making things.

Eighteen months ago I decided to go back to school. All in all it was a small decision. I filled out one online application. I paid one application fee. I sent in one set of transcripts. I got one acceptance letter. I enrolled in four classes. One small decision set everything else in motion. I know it was a good decision because everything else fell into place. Now I am about to graduate and my life is moving in a direction entirely different than the direction it was headed in a year and half ago. My new life gives me a sense of joy and peace...like I am finally where I need to be and doing what I need to do. I didn't know that things would change so drastically, but I pleasantly surprised by the turn.

After Tuesday, I made another decision that seemed small. I decided to let myself into the classroom. I have been running my classes like my mentor teacher, which has been good. My mentor is an amazing teacher and she has taught me a lot. Trying to be her though has been exhausting and impossible. I realized I can be different and still be amazing. Wednesday I tried it out. I had a heart to heart with my students. We had "come to Jesus" so to speak and I told them that what I needed and expected from them. I told them things would be different, but could be just as good. Wednesday went swimmingly and today was good as well.

So, my small success this week is in remembering the importance of small successes, small moments...being honest, being brave, being myself, the feel of a Kindergarten hand in mine down the hall, the morning smile of a five year old face, the feeling of being in the right place at the right time as the right person, and the possibility of making a difference in the world through the life of a child.